To My First

 

When I first saw you I had a severe crushlannding on you. With your look so many girls fell for you. I don't know you noticed me at first or not but I noticed you on your first day at school. My eyes always followed every movement, every moments of yours or in one word I used to notice everything of yours. You made my heart flutter at the first sight. My mind was in a mess. My brain was in chaos. 

Remember when you first talked to me. For God's sake you left me totally flabbergasted. I wasn't able to sleep that night. I was thinking of you all the night long till morning. It was impossible for me to forget that face of yours when you were talking to me. 

The second time when you talked to me was then when I was mistreated by a boy. I was crying at that time when you came to me and said "Who dares to mistreat you, bring them all. I'll beat them all up." I laughed and so you. Then you said with a puppy face as you want something from me "Smile for me okay, don't cry... " I nodded my head at that moment but you know I wasn't expecting that you could say this to me. You said what I'd want to hear for my whole life. 

Now you tell me how could I not lose my mind? I was going insane. I could do nothing but thinking about you all day long. I can't concentrate in my studies. 

I became the most happiest person when you are happy. I became the most saddest person when you are sad. I became the most worried person when you are not fine. I beacme the person who is hurt the most when you get hurt. I know that you can never be mine because you have someone in your life who loves you the way I love you. 

You know when you first introduced your girlfriend to me I was so heartbroken that I can't even make an eye contact with you cause I can't hold my tears back. 

You know I regret for the reason that I didn't able to tell you that I loved you. But I was thankful of this stupid mind of mine for not dreaming about stuffs like spending whole life together, got married, having a house of our own, live happily with our children etc. 

You were my first love and you know I didn't look for another guy apart from you. You were my angel. You were the one for whom my life was worth living for.

Atlast I just want to thank you for everything. For giving me sweet moments, for entering in my life without my permission and captured my heart. Confessing to you would have saved me the pain and heartache, but it would also have left me in my little bubble of idealism.